Cell Talking With Child

For a stay-at-home Mom/Dad, a cell phone is critical; it is a link to the adult world during an at least eight-hour shift in Kidland. While Kidland can be a fun place for a while, it is sometimes necessary to have a dose of adult conversation, enter the cell phone. Because cell phones are always with you, it is possible, for example, to get a little hit of adult time while at the playground if you are burned out from cheering for the twentieth time your child's successful dismount from the slide. This use of the cell phone makes sense: it is quick, convenient, and allows a short break while not having to disrupt your activity to go home and make a call. I sometimes feel sorry for the stay-at-home parents of former generations who did not have this outlet.

It's also nice to be able to touch base with the other parent during the day. The child's just-in-time sharing of funny episodes, new accomplishments, or excitement about an adventure preserves the emotion of the moment in the telling, which I would imagine helps the kid feel more connected to the parent who is at work and vice versa.

HOWEVER, I do wonder sometimes about excessive cell phone use while watching a little one. I wonder if all of this could have a deleterious effect on kids. In former generations, parents interacted constantly with their children when out and about. Does this mean that those children of the past benefited from more social interaction with the caregiver and quicker language development?

Today, you can be pushing the stroller, talking on the phone, and drinking coffee. Instead of pointing out a bird flying over head, you are discussing your friend's latest work challenges. Instead of singing a fun little song, you are debriefing the latest Project Runway episode. Some may argue that kids benefit from overhearing this adult conversation; although the content of the conversation may be trivial, kids still can pick up vocabulary, intonation, etc. Cutting against this argument, however, is the fact that kids learn through interaction, which is why plunking a little kid in front of the TV isn't such an effective teaching tool. While chatting away on the phone, you are missing the opportunity to interact directly with the kid and teach him something.

Now, I fully recognize that people will say that if you don't have adult conversation at all and you're burned out, you're not going to be very useful as a caregiver. I get that, which is why all in moderation should be rule of thumb for "talking while caregiving."